Wednesday, 31 May 2023
A+ R A-


It all began on Saturday morning, when under strict instructions to ‘get some thermals’ by Get-A-Grip Dave (all nicknames will be revealed during the story) Elaine, Laura and I spend LOTS of money on everything but thermals! Having asked the shopkeeper, and everyone else in the shop, whether pink or green was best for a waterproof jacket, I decided on pink (Pam seemed to like it AND it matched Francesca’s chair!) and off to Liverpool we went. 

The journey was uneventful for us, and it seems for others, marked only by the grotesque story of ‘I breastfeed my father’ in the week’s edition of Closer Magazine- YUK! Which thankfully didn’t lead to any accidents on the way- Lucky Laura! However, ‘You’re nicked’ Mick Oliver and Francesca managed to beat the predicted SATNAV time, he’s just waiting for the speeding tickets, and Well-hard Welly had to kip on the floor! 

Excitement followed at the Cavern Club where we saw some impromtu Live musicians – basically karaoke. Then it was off to bed for an early night, of course, so that we’d be on tip top condition for the onslaught.

The next morning promised better weather than expected, and when everyone finally arrived (cutting it a bit fine weren’t we risky Rob?) we hurried to get the boat fully prepared for the race ahead! In true Hurricanes style (or so I’m told) we did not manage to prepare the boat, or indeed ourselves, and with no warm up, or a head, or a PA system, we started and won the first race. Hooray! Of course nothing personal, but wasn’t it great to beat Tao? This was all thanks to our classy washing machine start.


Crusaders - 55.03

TAO - 54.39

Hurricanes - 54.16 - 1st and 5th fastest heat winner out of 13 crews
Then, straight through to the Semis where Get-a-Grip Dave losing his paddle and paddling fresh air for a couple of strokes meant that we only came second (Sorry if it wasn’t that race Dave!) Although, it felt smooth and we at least had the rest of the boat attached!

TAO -53.33

Amathus - 50.19

Hurricanes - 53.03 - 2nd
This put us in line for the minor final and we put up a good fight against two cracking teams. Actually hitting two of the Worcester crew during warm up is apparently not appropriate behaviour for a teacher. Although, sitting on the side of the docks marking children’s work in the rain is, as Elaine and Laura proved, totally fine.




Hurricanes - 54.19 - 3rd

Kingston Royals - 53.22

Worcester - 52.73
During this time, we hadn’t seen much of Gwen or Jane as they were spending money in the HUGE shops. But they were soon back to cheer us on and get a little bit chilly- good use of socks as gloves Jane! We did wonder how Kevin DM managed to always leave us empty handed and come back with a female companion and whether that had anything to do with his poorly arm. Since Popular Pam seemed to know everybody we didn’t see lots of her either, so we had to amuse ourselves with Graham the Grape and then Green Grape Helm. Some wonderful photos of these team mascots were taken by Quick Mick and provided us with a bit of a laugh as the cold drizzle and notorious Liverpool breeze set in.
Onto the 500s, where despite Wacker Quaker 8 and that bright shiny thing that seemed to keep coming out in the sky and disturbing poor Jim, the constant bickering between Mr and Mrs Liam Tighe (Mrs formally known as Darryl) poor Nippy Nicola’s lips which were now blue and the fact that according to Graham (father of all grapes) Mick R had turned into a pixie (Pixie Mick), we put in a great effort to achieve the fastest runner up in the heats.

Kingston Royals - 2.00.73

Hurricanes - 2.01.22 - 2nd
Not even the start from hell (normal apparently) or a GINORMOUS yellow boat, which was clearly hiding and trying to run into us on purpose, could get in our way. We powered through these to achieve our target of sub 2 mins in the Semis.


Exe-Calibre - 2.04.40

Worcester Dragons - 1.57.70

Hurricanes - 1.59.97 - 2nd
We were in such a hurry to get back to drink our 8th cup of tea, that we parked the boat inappropriately and were called over the tannoy system to rescue it as it was being ‘ill treated by the water’ . Get-a-Grip Dave and Wellhard Welly thankfully saved it from the elements (and a Jane Austen novel) and with fenders now attached (no you can’t use the huge GM grapes Lovely Lin) parked it a bit more nicely.
Sadly, Jumping Jack and Alex never managed to get from the higher part of the jetty to the boat. Worryingly, Kyle seemed to be eating quite a lot of very ‘pukable’ food. And embarrassingly, Young Master Menzies got told off by his mum over the tannoy! But nothing could dampen our spirits, Well Hard Welly and Get-a-Grip Dave valiantly wore shorts and t-shirts for the last race and even though we’d witnessed someone actually weeing in the Docks, and resorted to discussing the benefits of Tesco club card points and Avatars that looked somewhat like overgrown smurfs, we managed to keep it together and produce an honourable time for the last race.


Raging Dragons - 1.58.25

Kingston Royals - 2.01.53 

Hurricanes - 2.02.66 - 3rd
Still lots of laughs were had après racing: Thankfully, Kevin wasn’t actually stealing the camera when he took it far away to take the team snap-shot. And Jovial Jim, remember, Caroline isn’t a mind reader. You have to explain that you want the strap to go around the boat. Lovely Lin was hoping for some witty banter about the tent but Graham the Grape had been practising in the garden! Of course, there was time for a quick beer before everyone headed off back home, pleased and exhausted. Luckily Sensible Scott had a beer bottle opener as a belt buckle!
All in all, another great day’s racing, thanks to our supporters and team manager who flew solo for this one, a big well done to the juniors for doing us proud, and a Lovely Liverpool experience.

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